Leaving is hard work

I'm going to say it again, leaving is hard work. And leaving a job for 8 months is just way too long. After a while people don't want your opinion any more, they don't want you to be in your job, and yet they don't want you to not do you job either. They just want you to be someone else doing your job, or just you staying, not leaving. 

Well that is where I find myself. After a long day of conversations, some planned, some not, some friendly, some less friendly all I can say is that leaving is hard. After 8 months you have to not care as much about what happens after you leave. I find that incredibly hard. I joke around about not caring, I'll even make jokes about it, but I care. I care too much. I find that I am crying almost everyday, sad to be leaving.  Sad to be making the families go through another transition. Mad at different situations. Scared to death about where I'm headed. Tired from years of over work and emotional strain. Nervous about finances. Frustrated that my 8 months of notice didn't get my employer any further along to filling my position than 2 months would have, or so it seems. 

I am also excited in this transition too. Excited to be moving to Montreal. Thrilled to soon be living with my husband again. Hopeful about what God has instore for my employment there.  Desiring friendships half as good as the ones I made here. 

So I sigh and remind myself that leaving is hard work, but it is fun and scary and crazy and sad too. All at the same time, and that is ok.